I didn’t expect to feel so angry.
I didn’t expect to look at the man I loved and feel like everything had changed, because it had.
Postpartum does that. It shakes things up in ways no book or well-meaning advice can truly prepare you for. And while I had read about the baby blues and hormonal shifts, nothing prepared me for how it would hit me or how it would impact my marriage.
This post isn’t just about my postpartum experience, it’s about how my husband and I navigated one of the most emotionally intense seasons of our lives. How, with the right kind of postpartum support for couples, your relationship doesn’t have to fall apart, it can actually grow deeper.
When Love Meets Loss
What surprised me most about becoming a mom wasn’t the exhaustion or the new routines. It was the way grief, identity loss, and emotional overwhelm took up space in my relationship. I had just lost my father, and in many ways, I lost myself too.
Suddenly, I didn’t feel like “me” anymore and that deeply affected how I showed up as a wife. I felt angry, raw, and distant. But through all of that, my husband never flinched. His calm presence in moments where I fell apart reminded me of what real support looks like.
There was one night I’ll never forget, I was completely spiraling after an incident with my mom. I had a full-blown panic attack. Screaming, shaking, not even recognizing myself. My husband never left my side. He held me, protected me, and never once made me feel ashamed. The next morning, he treated me as if nothing had happened. That kind of understanding changed our marriage forever.
Our “Preparation” was Love
People ask if we prepped for the emotional changes of parenthood and truthfully, we didn’t. We were just so excited. The moment we saw that positive pregnancy test, it felt like everything clicked into place. We planned for the baby but not for the way it would stretch us emotionally.
Still, that shared joy became our foundation. When everything felt shaky later, that foundation reminded us why we started this journey in the first place.
What helped us stay connected postpartum
Let me be real, this stage required work. It tested our communication and patience. But we learned to lean into the discomfort and make room for healing. Some of the tools that helped us most included:
- Intentional Communication – Even when it was uncomfortable or messy, we didn’t avoid the hard conversations.
- Getting Out Together – Fresh air saved us. Walks, grocery runs, or baby-friendly outings helped us feel like a team.
- Staying Intimate at Home – It wasn’t always glamorous, but carving out private moments, even just laying in bed talking helped us reconnect.
- Simple Joys – Cooking a new dessert, gardening, or watching a show together reminded us we’re more than just parents, we’re partners.
When Grief + Postpartum Collide
For me, grief didn’t wait for the “right” time. I was still mourning my father while learning how to be a mom, and it all felt like too much. I was angry at life, at the cards I’d been dealt, at the fact that I couldn’t recognize myself anymore.
My husband had to learn how to love me through that anger. He’s even said it was the most difficult season of his life too but we both grew from it. That’s the part people don’t talk about enough. How supporting each other emotionally during postpartum can deepen your bond, even through the hard stuff.
The Real Challenges Nobody Talks About
Let’s normalize the conversations around postpartum resentment. Because yes, the lack of sleep, the mental load, and the lifestyle changes can create tension. We had moments of frustration and miscommunication, just like any other couple.
But you know what made the biggest difference?
Talking. Openly. Calmly.
There were nights where I wanted to scream, and sometimes I did. But eventually, we learned to meet in the middle, even when we were both tired and overwhelmed. We learned to listen—not just hear, but actually listen to each other.
Little Habits That Brought Us Closer
Here’s what helped us feel connected when time and energy were low:
- Sharing a meal, even if baby was bouncing in a rocker nearby.
- Snuggling up to one episode of our favorite show, one slice of normalcy amidst the chaos.
- Asking each other: “How are you doing today?” Not just, “How’s the baby?”
Why I Built My Postpartum Support Program
Everything I experienced inspired the way I now support other moms. My 6-week postpartum wellness program is broken into phases and one of the most important pieces is helping moms strengthen (or rebuild) their relationships.
If you would rather try something shorter, you also have the 90-day All in Signature Program.
During our 1:1 sessions, we talk about you. Your emotional state, your needs, and your partnership. You’ll get handouts, tools, and practical ways to improve your communication and feel more understood. This season is hard but you shouldn’t go through it alone.
You’ll leave the program with:
- Tools to communicate without reacting from emotion
- Clarity around your emotional triggers
- Strategies to bring your partner into the healing process
- A sense of empowerment and emotional relief
- A restored version of you—one that feels whole again
Let’s Talk, Mama
This program isn’t just for struggling relationships, it’s for moms who want to feel seen again. Whether you’re battling resentment, navigating grief, or just feeling disconnected, there’s space here for you.
If you’re curious whether this is the support you’ve been craving, let’s talk. I offer a completely free 30-minute virtual assessment. No strings attached. Just a chance for us to connect and see where you are in your journey.
Click here to book your session.
Let’s figure it out together.
You deserve support.
You deserve peace.
You deserve to feel loved through every stage of motherhood.
All the love,
–Ashley
